Message in a bottle to Christine L Collins
Well, as I compose this entry, let me just say one thing about the meaning of life. When all is said and done, it all comes down to who we are and what we did with our lives. With the recent change of administration, with President Obama now being sworn in, I hope and pray that a time of renewal will take place, of our vows to look out for our fellow travellers on this small planet. It has been written that Jesus looks after the poor and the meek. Let us all do our part to look after each other, and work to bring an end to poverty, hunger, and war. Idyllic sure, but if we don’t set such goals, then whom will look after those that need aide. So here we are with a new President, one whom will do great things, to bring hope to so many, and bring change in policies to Washington.
Having myself seen dispare, over losing what amounted to the most complete and fulfilling love I have known in my entire life when Christine Collins said goodbye, and now having left my 20s and 30s behind me, have realized what a waste life was without the women i loved and wanted a family with. Now it is too Damn late, life has passed me by without a wife and my own kids. So, the only thing that has kept me going has been my job as a teacher, and my faith and hope in Jesus. When I lost Christine Collins, I lost my life as I knew it, full of love, and hope for a future with her and our kids, that I looked forward to. And so now that so much time has gone by, I am out of hope and time now.
I wish that she was able to read this message, and realize just how much she meant to me, and to this day, still does mean to me. For though I’ve been with many women since losing her, and proposed to a few of them since them, (which none accepted, just like Christine didnt either), there has been none like her at all in my entire life. I gave my life for her in the mid 1990s, and God let me live. To wake up the next morning, not knowing where to go from there, at least I was given a new chance at life. With that new chance came a new career. But that said, it no longer is enough. I would still give my life to spend it with her, or someone as good as she was to me, that was as soft, beautiful, playful, and loving as she used to be so many years ago. And I wish to God we had had kids together, as I believed at the time that I had with her!
I have not seen her since the very day she tossed me out the apartment, so long ago. I hope she somehow knows, that all i have for her is love, stll til this very day. Now that I am in my 40s now, life has passsed me by. She should know, she was the very best part of life, my time spent with her, from the first instant i met her, to the very end, when she threw me out the door.
God I miss her still, and dream of her the way she was, when she herself was in her late 20s, as was I so long ago. To me, she is ageless, and will always be the love of my life, along with some others I have met along the journey of life too.
So, where do I go from here.
This post, like the poem above above this post, is a message in a bottle for her. I hope that before I leave this world, she finds this message, and knows that my love never died for her and like me, goes on for all eternity.
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